Holding on to Hope When It Makes Sense Not To.
When you are tired of not trying, You will have every reason to.
This was my beginning and if you aren’t able to get through it all I respect that, but I encourage you to try. Honesty goes a long way for the burden that you are searching to get rid of. I kept going to this place in the photo with such beautiful memories, and was not seeing it for anything more than a place to hide. I then found every reason to change and saw clearly through fogged clouds the beauty that it held yet again. I could not do it anymore. It was time for decisions to happen and change to take place. If not, I was no longer meant to understand. If I was going to be ok with living the way that I had been, then I wasn’t going to live here at all. So many countless times and manic thoughts. I was scared of myself and capable of stopping it any way I needed to. I lost sight of everything I ever knew and anything that ever mattered had vanished. It happened right under me and I never saw any of it leave. Every bottom had a trapped door leading to then next one. I could smell the hell I was creating and I wanted the end to come.
I don’t regret saying that this low was exactly what it was, because it is only a brief way of putting it. It is also the reason I am as strong as I am today. When you hit your lowest point you will know in your gut that your soul is depleted and wants you to find reason again. This is where the biggest decision of your life happens. Everyone has it in them to choose the route that inspires change and the need to understand the beauty of not life, but themselves under a new light. There is no way of really explaining it. You just know. The most precious things in life come when we open our arms in wonder and accept everything that wonderful is. This is the hardest fight I have ever faced and I have been knocked down plenty of times. As long as I always got back up and threw haymakers I was destined to keep fighting. So are you. Find it in yourself to get back up from the hardest hits and fight for the difference you were placed here to make.
I will leave it at this. When you drop a rock into a lake , there is a ripple effect that extends out from the initial point of impact . The first thing to calm is the point in which you dropped it. The ripple follows for a while, but eventually slows to a halt. Be the rock that you drop so that your ripples consistently spread hope and happiness instead of sorrow and regret. When you drop your rocks in different places, eventually they create a cross wake and everyone can feel the ripples of your joy.
What will you do today to start your journey toward a better way of living your life?
